The Booze You Get For Christmas Says This About You

Posted by Dien Nguyen on 1:52 AM

Ornaments, chocolates, framed pictures, coffee mugs, handwritten greeting cards expressing your deepest sentiments: These are some of the presents you could give this holiday season that won't be nearly as appreciated as alcohol.

But why do some people receive bottles of champagne for Christmas while others receive PBR tallboys? What is the gift-giver saying about the recipient? Scientists spent years researching these alcoholic beverages thoroughly, many of them developing serious drinking problems, and came back with these answers.

Here's what people are really saying when they give you these alcohol beverages with a bow on top:

  • Fancy Champagne

    A photo posted by @kdb__ on

    "Please give me that promotion."
  • Case of Budweiser

    A photo posted by Matt Dever (@matrd37) on

    "I put a lot of thought into your gift while I was at the gas station."
  • Southern Comfort

    A photo posted by Southern Comfort (@southerncomfort) on

    "I found this unopened in my liquor cabinet."
  • Home-Brewed Beer

    A photo posted by Amber Sky Lilly (@lucidcreator) on

    "You seem forgiving enough to forget how sick everyone got from this recipe last Christmas."
  • Enormous Bottle of Wine

    A photo posted by Emma Bjerre Cobley (@emmacobleyy) on

    "Have a nice Christmas alone!"
  • 2 Oz. Bottle of Liquor

    A photo posted by Diego Yaco (@yacobmx) on

    (Said sarcastically) "Don't drink this all in one sitting!"

    NOTE: if the giver and recipient are both tiny, mystical forest pixies, the message is actually...

    (Said somberly) "Don't drink this all in one sitting."
  • Guinness

    A photo posted by Fionns Guelph (@fionnsguelph) on

    "All I know about you is that your last name is O'Connor."
  • Lady Bligh Spiced Rum

    A photo posted by Tristan (@kicksandpies) on

    "You give off a 'broke pirate' vibe."
  • Expensive Wine You've Never Heard Of

    A photo posted by Colectivo Decantado (@colectivodecantado) on

    "I have sophisticated tastes and you should consider sex with me."
  • Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey

    A photo posted by Cortney King (@littlekinggg) on

    "You are 14 years old."
  • Johnnie Walker Red Label Whisky

    A photo posted by The Eye Of Gates (@teogphotography) on

    "Sorry, you aren't exactly a Black Label friend."
  • Barrymore Pinot Grigio

    A photo posted by Barrymore Wines (@barrymorewines) on

    "To You, From Drew Barrymore. Obviously. No one else would give someone they care about Barrymore Pinot Grigio."
  • $1.9 Million Henri IV Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne

    A photo posted by First Class Magazine (@firstclassmagazine) on

    "Oh, shit. There was a $10 limit on the office gift exchange?"
  • Four Loko

    A photo posted by @fourloko_christmas on

    "I want you to die."

Also on HuffPost:

President Obama Drinking Beer

President Obama Drinking Beer

1
of
15
President Barack Obama holds a __beer during a visit to Gator's Dockside restaurant in Orlando, Florida, on September 8, 2012 during the first day of a 2-day bus tour across Florida. AFP PHOTOS/SAUL LOEB

Share this slide:

SAUL LOEB/AFP/GettyImages
Suggest a correction
Comments